I have spent today in some fantastic sales training that really challenged me to think about the buying and selling process. During the day, the trainer tackled the topic of ‘objections’ including what they are, how to spot them, and how to tackle them; and it made me think more widely about both objections and rejections in our professional and personal lives.
Essentially an objection or a rejection can be put in to one of three categories:
- I don’t like you
- I don’t trust you
- I don’t trust myself
No matter what an individual may say is their reason, the underlying issue can be put in to one of these three categories.
That potential customer who has told you that they need to go away and think about it before deciding? Likely to be for one of the three reasons.
That person you have been dating who has told you that they will call you and hasn’t? Likely to be for one of the three reasons.
You may be thinking: ‘Why is Sean telling us this? It already is frustrating that the customer has deferred the decision and now won’t meet with me again’ or ‘I already feel pain and stupidity for being vulnerable with someone who is now avoiding me.’
My trainer put it quite simply: Stop the Kisschase. Running after people in the vain hope that they will alter their behaviours through your persistence does not serve you. It depletes you of confidence and energy, and makes them anxious as they are trying to avoid having to face you and state the true, deep meaning for their behaviour.
So they don’t like you? There are plenty of other people that do connect/will connect with you.
So they don’t trust you? That’s their own issue to resolve.
So they don’t trust themselves? They need to understand what they are scared of being, or doing, or having by giving themselves self-trust. When they consider who do they may become by saying ‘yes’ to you may fill them with fear. Again, this is something that is not for you to try and fix for them.
If you know that in your personal or professional life that you have given your all, and you have made it really easy for someone to say ‘yes’, for them to fill their lives with possibility and positivity, and they choose to say ‘no’, then that is on them and not you.
Stop playing kisschase. Move on. There are people out there who need you in their lives so go and give them a reason to say yes and benefit from what you have to offer.